Dilemma

It's been awhile since I update my blog.
So much to write yet lazy to put them down into words.

Ok, what dilemma I have been facing right now?!

ACCA, of course!

Initially, I made up my mind to study ACCA in Bristol.
But, now I want to study in London. You hear me, IS LONDON! the capital of England.

yea, i am excited for it..
yet, there are so many things for me to do now.

1st, I need to settle my current tenancy agreement with my landlord. as you know, I have signed a contract last month because I was so afraid that I will not be able to get a place to stay if I study in Bristol. Since things have changed, so I need to terminate it. Hopefully my landlord won't forfeit my deposit.

2nd, I need to hunt for houses in London. Oh gosh, I hate house-hunting! ARGHHHH!
Have to stay from zero again. My friends and I have seen so many houses from the websites, yet most of the houses that we want have already been taken up. >.< hate it!
Gosh, hopefully tomorrow the landlord from London will able to give me some good offers so that we can settle our house in London asap!
Let's pray hard everyone. I need a place to stay. I need a comfy place to stay.

Does he like me? Or I think too much

Recently, my mind is disturbed.

This happen when one day, a boy suddenly msn me saying that there is a rumour between me and him. However, I did not hear any of this. He explained that his friends will praise him or talking smtg good about him whenever I pass by them.

But,
I seriously did not hear any of this.

If not mistaken, a week later.. we were having a random chat.
Suddenly he asked me why I do not want to find a bf here.
My answer is: I am waiting for people to confess. haha....
Then, he reply: How about me? What do you think of me?

Oh gosh, I was shocked when I saw this msg. He further explained that : I know you will be shock but I just want to express my feelings...

Hmm, does this mean he like me? But, we barely talk to each other in the class.
Like today,
we bump into each other, yet we are not talking... unless there are friends around us.
Firstly, I notice I feel abit awkward as I dont dare to look at me when we are talking. ( Am I shy?) haha

Secondly, I cannot feel that he likes me.. coz, the way he treat me is NOTHING. but what does this previous msg means?

haiz.. so confusing .
but i know i will manage to overcome it.

Cheers ^.<

4th week in Bristol

After my dear mom went back to Malaysia,
I did cry for awhile coz all in a sudden
the room become so quiet
and
I feel so lonely

But soon
I'm ok with it
That's the start of my new chapter

I went to Cardiff and London with friends
I enjoy the places I visited
I love to travel around
I love to take pictures of everywhere I go

Oh ya,
the most important thing
I went to club for the very 1st time
How does it feel like?
It was kinda boring as there wasn't much ppl in the club as it was organized by the chinese society in Bristol
So, most of the ppl here are ASEAN
but,
i do see some good looking guys over there
so cute n handsome

aishek, dont have the guts to talk to them. haiz
but nvm... enjoying being single now

Day 11 in Bristol (22 of sept)

I was having my dinner with my mother.
We talked about how it would be when she has went back to M'sia.
When I started to think about this, I cant hold back my tears. My tears roll down while I was having my dinner in the restaurant. How weak am I?
But I have to admit that, I really cant imagine my life without my mother.
haiz, should be miserable.

Like my mom always say,
in college I always have my bf to accompany me that I wont feel any bit of loneliness surroundning me.

BUT HERE,
I am leave alone...
no family no bf not even a single close friend........

That's why I keep telling myself to mix around with my coursemate. Hoping that I can be part of their group. But somehow, people will still forget you when they have any plans to do.
I cant blame them as they are already one group by themselves while studying in M'sia.

Let's hope my prayers will help me to overcome all these probs

Life in Bristol (1)

12 sept 2009

this is the day i arrived Bristol International Airport. I rmb I was quite nervous the day before I flew. It seems like the day I have been waiting for since foundation has come.
I am at Bristol. Starting to learn to be independent, starting to learn how to mix with people, especially those with different culture, starting to speak English more often compared to when I'm in Malaysia.

At this moment, I am still have not experience any culture shock as I have my mom accompany with me. Thanks god, if not I really don't know how I will be on my first day.

But, I remember she asked me how I felt when I arrived my campus. My answer to that,
I have no feeling. erm, feeling like I am on a vacation.....hahaha

I know I have to start to stand on my own feet as after 14days, my mom will have to return to Malaysia. And, I will be here by myself..... probably tat time I need to go find my friends....

13 sept 2009

Started to find mom's accommodation but the place is very sad....
Therefore, mom decided to stay with me for the rest of her trips in Bristol. ^&^

We went to the city centre to buy some groceries eg water!!!!
yeah, the water is not as clean as what we tot. drinking water from the paip is a NO!
coz it contains limescale ( not sure whether the term is correct or not).
Luckily I have a friend here to tell me that, if not I will be drinking it for the rest for my study year in uwe. omg!

I also bump into Bena when I was on my way out to the town in the morning.
It was a happy thing to me as I finally found a face that I know....
haha
such a relief~~~ hooo
we have some chit chat in her room with my mom and septiani...
is good to know that someone is here for u when u need them since septiani has been here for 1 year and bena has been here for 1 week..

14 sept

Yes! Monday, most of my coursemates will be here today.
It means that I will seeing most of them in the campus soon.. eithere tomorrow or on wednesday.

When to the main reception, hoping to get a letter to open a bank accout but it needs 3 days in order to produce tat letter.
have no choice but to wait. ish...

Afternoon, follow bena and septiani, together with 2 juniors ( Ching and Sherlene) to Ikea. But, din manage to follow them to the chinese supermarket as me and my mom have bought alot of things from Ikea. SO, WE CANT CARRY IT AND WALK TO THAT SUPERMARKET. haha
I know, I know.. I am lazy when comes to walking. hahah
but, now i really have no choice but to walk because i have no car here. blek
I know I need to walk alot as this is one of the exercises that can help to protect my backbones from weakening.

I guess this is a sign from GOD that I have been skipping from alot of exercises since young.
>< therefore, now I have to do it...
Nvm, I will take it as smtg good as it really benefit my overall health. haha

Today, I have my 1st chinese meal in Bristol..
I ordered fried rice, brocoli and lemon chicken... but I still prefer M'sia style of cooking.

Tml will be another bz day for me. Not sure whether I get to meet my friends from Taylors by tml. But, I do really hope to bump into them as most of them are staying outside which is very far...from my campus as well as my place. but, according to my friend septiani, is not really tat far. maybe i jz not used to walk so far.
hahah

Ending my 2years relationship with a broken heart

all this happened because of me.
because i am planning to study acca at uk

this means i probably will be staying at uk for 2 years
and, my soon-to-be ex bf become so angry
as i will be leaving him alone in malaysia

we argued.
i tried to calm him down
tried to change the topic while sms-ing him
but,
ntg seem to cool him down
his mind is stucked with my plan that i will be going to uk for 2 years

i explained to him that ntg will change my love for him
even now, we break up
i know i still love him
but, somehow
i did not accept his return when he wanted to be together with me again

because,
i scared after 1 year
the same thing will happen
i really don't him to say break up at that time

in this 2 years relationship
we been thru alot of hard times and happy moments
and,
there is one point of time
that i believe he is the one for me

i started to think of our future
our marriage etc
so many happy things

but,
all these thoughts crash
on
27 of august 2009...............


why???
if ntg happen yesterday,
today we will be meeting up at 1 u.

finally i know what it is fell like
"so close yet so far"
we both are in the same building
he is in kpmg
i am in toyota
yet,
i am hoping to bump into him
at least let me have a last glace at him

i guess we will never each other again

haiz..
when we are couple
we can know each other activity
when we break up
it just like 2 strangers living in this world

i hate this feeling
i hate it

Something about my internship

1st of July...

The first day I entered to the big building with a heart that full with excitement and anxiety.
The first person that I saw in the PwC was also an intern, her name is CK.
bla bla bla....

As time goes by, I started to realise that this job was not what I expected so far.
I thought it would be exciting, fun etc.....

But, it turns out to be
let's see

1) vouching
2) documentation
3) excel
4) photostating
5) fat-mou~ing..........

what to do?
As an intern, we or should I say oni me.. have nothing to do except for pretending like I am so bz by looking at the pc whole day...
Sienz.

Browsing thru my friends' blogs, facebooks, pictures etc

oh mine... what should i do then?
all these things make me so miserable.
I guess this can be seen from my face. ><

Sad, frustrated and DAMN FUCKING GEK HEI!!!! ~~
I wanted to go home so much now as there is ntg for me to do,
except of thinking all those nonsense thing.......

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